Polyamory & ethical non-monogamy · BC & online
Poly-affirming relationship therapy
You shouldn’t have to spend the first three sessions explaining your relationship structure, or defending it. Ethical non-monogamy is a normal part of my practice. I work with polyamorous individuals, couples, and constellations in Coquitlam, BC and online, on the same things every relationship works on: communication, trust, jealousy, repair, and desire.
Individuals, couples, and multi-partner sessions · In person in Coquitlam and online
What does poly-affirming therapy actually mean?
It means I won’t treat your relationship structure as the problem to be solved. Non-monogamy isn’t a symptom, a phase, or an avoidance strategy by default. We spend our sessions on what’s actually difficult for you, rather than on educating me about how your life works.
Finding a therapist aligned with a non-traditional lifestyle is one of the genuine barriers people tell me about. So is the fear of judgement. If you’ve had the experience of a previous therapist quietly steering you back toward monogamy, or treating one partner as the real relationship and the others as complications, you’ll know why this page exists.
What we work on
The work is often familiar, the context isn’t
- Jealousy, compersion, and the feelings that arrive uninvited
- Negotiating and renegotiating agreements as things change
- Opening a previously monogamous relationship, and the wobble that follows
- Hierarchy, and the hurt that can sit inside it
- Time, attention, and the arithmetic of more than two people
- Repair after a broken agreement or a rupture
- Attachment strategies across multiple relationships
- Coming out, or not, to family, work and community
- Being the partner who agreed but isn’t sure they wanted to
How sessions work
- Who comes
Individuals, dyads, or more than two partners together - Session length
60 minutes individually, 90 minutes for relationship sessions - Approach
Emotionally Focused therapy, Somatic Experiencing, attachment and parts work — the same depth as any other relationship work - Format
In person in Coquitlam, BC, or online - First step
A free 20-minute consultation
“We are hurt in relationship, and we heal in relationship.”
FAQs
Polyamory & ENM questions
Do you work with more than two partners in the room?
Yes. Sessions can include a dyad, a triad, or a wider constellation. We’ll talk in the consultation about who is coming and what each person is hoping for, because that shapes how we set the work up.
Will you try to talk us back into monogamy?
No. My job is to help you build the relationships you actually want, with more honesty and less harm. If one of you is genuinely unhappy with the structure, that’s something we look at openly — but it’s not a conclusion I start from.
What about confidentiality between partners?
I don’t hold secrets between partners. Anything relevant to the work needs to be able to come into the shared room, in its own time. I’ll be explicit about how this works before we begin.
Is jealousy a sign non-monogamy isn’t for us?
Not on its own. Jealousy is usually an attachment signal rather than a verdict. We get curious about what it’s protecting and what need underneath it isn’t being met, which is the same work I’d do with any couple.
Do you work with kink, queer, and other non-normative relationships?
Yes. The same principle applies: you shouldn’t have to translate your life into something more acceptable before we can start.
Ready to begin?
Book a free 20-minute consultation. Ask me anything you need to, including whatever you’d normally have to check first.